nortatoga
.338 Win Mag
How about a Funny Hunting/Fishing and Camping Pic's and Memes Thread? Edited - ( And also Funny Stories!! )
- Thread starter nortatoga
- Start date
1075tech
.338 Win Mag
No pics or meme but a story.
Few years ago, opening day. The whole day had been a disaster from the beginning. It's now dusk and I've walked down to the barn to talk to the farmer before I head home.
I see two doe come across the road and into a field. I make my way over to the hedgerow. One doe takes off. The other is maybe 10 yards away but behind a large tree. After a few minutes of playing peek-a-boo, she takes a step. Bang! Down she goes.
Now I can't get to her because of the brush and briars. I finally find an opening and make my way to the spot. She's not there. WTF!?
I start following hoof prints. I spooked her. She jumps up and runs. Back to the road. Jumps the guardrail and gets hit by a car.
Few years ago, opening day. The whole day had been a disaster from the beginning. It's now dusk and I've walked down to the barn to talk to the farmer before I head home.
I see two doe come across the road and into a field. I make my way over to the hedgerow. One doe takes off. The other is maybe 10 yards away but behind a large tree. After a few minutes of playing peek-a-boo, she takes a step. Bang! Down she goes.
Now I can't get to her because of the brush and briars. I finally find an opening and make my way to the spot. She's not there. WTF!?
I start following hoof prints. I spooked her. She jumps up and runs. Back to the road. Jumps the guardrail and gets hit by a car.
Acer-m14
20×102mm Vulcan
off to go camping off road in the state lands here with the pop up camper .. got bogged down and un hitched the camper and then got really stuck ..
used all the fire wood in the box to build a road out of the mud ..
used all the fire wood in the box to build a road out of the mud ..
Saltwater60
20×102mm Vulcan
No meme but a story as well. It’s long but it’s worth it. I guarantee a laugh.
Last winter I went ice fishing and it sucked that day. So I was sitting in the hut playing on my phone. I dropped my phone and it was literally like a comedy. My phone hits the ice and is slowly sliding to the hole. I’m leaning back so I whip up and just get my finger tips on my phone and it slips out of my fingers and flutters to the bottom. My BIL is sitting there screaming oh no, oh, oh, ooh no.
I said I’m going to fish it out. He said no way. I have a camera so I locate it and it takes me about two minutes to hook it and bring the phone within 6” Of the joke and it falls off the lone and flutters back to the bottom. Of course it skitted off the the side so now I start drilling holes to get it. I finally get it right on about the 7th or 8th hole and I’m trying to locate the phone in the hole. Well I got about a 16” catfish and it stirs up the bottom and I can’t see shit now. The catfish hops off and swims away. Oh well.
Now mind you I’m supposed to be home at 4:00 to pick up my wife’s car from being serviced and it’s fast approaching 4:00. I’m like shit. So it clears and I can’t find it. I’m looking with the camera and I spot it. It’s in a case with a bright green stripe so I saw that. My BIL says that’s not it. I said oh yes it is seaweed isn’t that perfect. So I keep getting caught on the seaweed and it clouds it up for a Minute. Now the phone is perfectly straight up and down so I say how the hell am I going to hook it. I dropped the heavy jig and it hit the phone and cocked it a bit. I was like no way!! So I said here we go boys I’m getting this right now. I took a few tries and I hooked it. I brought it up and my BIL stick his hands in the hole and grabbed it. He said no way is it going to work. it was working.
Now it’s about 4:15 or so and I’m like I have to go. We start packing up and we’re all standing there and a phone starts blaring and we all look around. My buddy says not mine, my BIL says not mine, it’s my wife doing the find my iPhone because I’m late and she thinks I’m dead.
So we get off the ice and I call her but the battery is draining super fast. She was kissed at first so I just said hey wait and listen to this. She started blaring out laughing and said good thing you got your phone. So I charged it on the way home but it wouldn’t charge so I said maybe the phone is too cold or maybe it’s fucked. We get to the mechanics and they screwed everything up, car wasn’t done, they charged me way too much and did stuff they were authorized to do. My wife laid into them and it was fixed fast. I said good job babe.
I wrote this to you all on the phone that was at the bottom of the lake. Yes it still works!!
Last winter I went ice fishing and it sucked that day. So I was sitting in the hut playing on my phone. I dropped my phone and it was literally like a comedy. My phone hits the ice and is slowly sliding to the hole. I’m leaning back so I whip up and just get my finger tips on my phone and it slips out of my fingers and flutters to the bottom. My BIL is sitting there screaming oh no, oh, oh, ooh no.
I said I’m going to fish it out. He said no way. I have a camera so I locate it and it takes me about two minutes to hook it and bring the phone within 6” Of the joke and it falls off the lone and flutters back to the bottom. Of course it skitted off the the side so now I start drilling holes to get it. I finally get it right on about the 7th or 8th hole and I’m trying to locate the phone in the hole. Well I got about a 16” catfish and it stirs up the bottom and I can’t see shit now. The catfish hops off and swims away. Oh well.
Now mind you I’m supposed to be home at 4:00 to pick up my wife’s car from being serviced and it’s fast approaching 4:00. I’m like shit. So it clears and I can’t find it. I’m looking with the camera and I spot it. It’s in a case with a bright green stripe so I saw that. My BIL says that’s not it. I said oh yes it is seaweed isn’t that perfect. So I keep getting caught on the seaweed and it clouds it up for a Minute. Now the phone is perfectly straight up and down so I say how the hell am I going to hook it. I dropped the heavy jig and it hit the phone and cocked it a bit. I was like no way!! So I said here we go boys I’m getting this right now. I took a few tries and I hooked it. I brought it up and my BIL stick his hands in the hole and grabbed it. He said no way is it going to work. it was working.
Now it’s about 4:15 or so and I’m like I have to go. We start packing up and we’re all standing there and a phone starts blaring and we all look around. My buddy says not mine, my BIL says not mine, it’s my wife doing the find my iPhone because I’m late and she thinks I’m dead.
So we get off the ice and I call her but the battery is draining super fast. She was kissed at first so I just said hey wait and listen to this. She started blaring out laughing and said good thing you got your phone. So I charged it on the way home but it wouldn’t charge so I said maybe the phone is too cold or maybe it’s fucked. We get to the mechanics and they screwed everything up, car wasn’t done, they charged me way too much and did stuff they were authorized to do. My wife laid into them and it was fixed fast. I said good job babe.
I wrote this to you all on the phone that was at the bottom of the lake. Yes it still works!!
FS1040
.45 acp
How did you dry it out? Rice?
I’m also guessing it was a ‘droid?
nortatoga
.338 Win Mag
I Edited the thread title to also included funny stories!! As a kid my dad never had much luck hunting , but I do remember the stories he would come home with.
Saltwater60
20×102mm Vulcan
It is an IPhone SE the new one and I stuck the charging port on the heater vent in the car. They are waterproof up to 3 meters for 45 minutes(I think). I was in about 8 feet for about an hour so I was right there.
nortatoga
.338 Win Mag
Been there, done that a couple of times with my popup . That’s when I decided that I’d Never own a two wheeled drive truck ever again.
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Not a funny story but Kind of a cool story really. This was quite a few years ago .
I hadn’t hunted with my younger brother in a few years. I had scouted a new piece of state land that someone had told me about and called him up to see if he wanted to go down there with me on opening morning. I was happy to hear him say yes and told him what the DMU was so that he could apply for a doe permit for that area. I had already applied for and received my doe tag. As it turned out he got one too.
We got there a bit late and sunrise was just a few minutes away so I quickly explained where I thought he would have a decent chance at a deer and I headed to a spot that I had previously picked out while scouting. This was a pretty popular piece of state land at the time so shortly after sunrise there was a fair amount of shooting all around. At about 9:00 am I spot a nice 6 point headed my way and when he got into range I dropped him. After several minutes I got ready to walk over to where he lay when a doe came along and I dropped her too. After gutting both deer I left them lay there with my coat and gloves and headed back in the direction of where my brother was supposed to be so that I could get him to help me drag the deer out.
It turned out that the same damn thing happened to him right at about the same exact time. He had also dropped a 6 point and a doe . Needless to say we were very happy campers that day ! Both of us had bagged a buck and a doe that opening morning and were home by noon.
To this day whenever we get together for family events we still talk about that amazing day.
I hadn’t hunted with my younger brother in a few years. I had scouted a new piece of state land that someone had told me about and called him up to see if he wanted to go down there with me on opening morning. I was happy to hear him say yes and told him what the DMU was so that he could apply for a doe permit for that area. I had already applied for and received my doe tag. As it turned out he got one too.
We got there a bit late and sunrise was just a few minutes away so I quickly explained where I thought he would have a decent chance at a deer and I headed to a spot that I had previously picked out while scouting. This was a pretty popular piece of state land at the time so shortly after sunrise there was a fair amount of shooting all around. At about 9:00 am I spot a nice 6 point headed my way and when he got into range I dropped him. After several minutes I got ready to walk over to where he lay when a doe came along and I dropped her too. After gutting both deer I left them lay there with my coat and gloves and headed back in the direction of where my brother was supposed to be so that I could get him to help me drag the deer out.
It turned out that the same damn thing happened to him right at about the same exact time. He had also dropped a 6 point and a doe . Needless to say we were very happy campers that day ! Both of us had bagged a buck and a doe that opening morning and were home by noon.
To this day whenever we get together for family events we still talk about that amazing day.
nortatoga
.338 Win Mag
nortatoga
.338 Win Mag
nortatoga
.338 Win Mag
Deplorable Me
.700 Nitro Express
One of my all time favorites:
I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said. As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.' We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'. We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?'
I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said. As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.' We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'. We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?'
Saltwater60
20×102mm Vulcan
I bought a brand new 4 piece package fishing rod and I got a snag. I’m a bit cheap and didn’t want to loose the $4.00 panther Martin on the end of the line. So I struggled and yanked a for longer than I should have for $4.00. Finally the rod sections separated and I thought now what? I tried a few things but obviously gravity is gravity. I tried to free the lite so I could reel back my life and the other half of my $150 rod. No dice. I ended up breaking the line, loosing $4.00, and the other half of the rod. It was early May and honestly I thought about stripping naked and swimming for the rod. I’m a piss poor swimmer, it was cold, the water was fast, and there was lots of debris there, not to mention my friend didn’t want to see me naked.
It was eating at me all weekend so I emailed Fenwick since the rod was literally weeks old to see if I could buy two new sections and they sent me an entire new rod. I was pleased to say the least.
It was eating at me all weekend so I emailed Fenwick since the rod was literally weeks old to see if I could buy two new sections and they sent me an entire new rod. I was pleased to say the least.
nortatoga
.338 Win Mag
It's not often a Game Warden get's a chuckle!!!!!
Robin
.577 Tyrannosaur.
nortatoga
.338 Win Mag
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
Jmac00
.475 A&M Magnum
about 30 years ago a couple of friends and I went duck hunting. These two guys are in the 6'-3", 275Lb+ range and they are in a 14' canoe.
Me and the other guy were in a 18' John boat. Both vessels were at the edge of a swap with a lake to our backs and about 100 yards apart
A flock of duck come flying out of the swap, both guys in the canoe open up at the exact same time, It was like watching the USS Missouri unload all 9 of her 16" guns from one side, the canoe rolled over, both guns went flying, both guy are in the water searching for there guns, the canoe is upside down, me and the other guy were laughing so hard I thought we would pass out.
we eventually made out way over to them, they were standing in about 5' of water, with their guns over their heads. One of them looks at us and says "what ya think boys, keep hunting, or go get breakfast"
It was about 35° out, so we went and go breakfast
Me and the other guy were in a 18' John boat. Both vessels were at the edge of a swap with a lake to our backs and about 100 yards apart
A flock of duck come flying out of the swap, both guys in the canoe open up at the exact same time, It was like watching the USS Missouri unload all 9 of her 16" guns from one side, the canoe rolled over, both guns went flying, both guy are in the water searching for there guns, the canoe is upside down, me and the other guy were laughing so hard I thought we would pass out.
we eventually made out way over to them, they were standing in about 5' of water, with their guns over their heads. One of them looks at us and says "what ya think boys, keep hunting, or go get breakfast"
It was about 35° out, so we went and go breakfast
Saltwater60
20×102mm Vulcan
I totally want to duck hunt out of my kayaks on the Niagara river, but I can’t get anyone to come do it with me. There is a spot not far from me and I could wade out on a sandy bank, shoot the ducks and geese then paddle out and retrieve them.about 30 years ago a couple of friends and I went duck hunting. These two guys are in the 6'-3", 275Lb+ range and they are in a 14' canoe.
Me and the other guy were in a 18' John boat. Both vessels were at the edge of a swap with a lake to our backs and about 100 yards apart
A flock of duck come flying out of the swap, both guys in the canoe open up at the exact same time, It was like watching the USS Missouri unload all 9 of her 16" guns from one side, the canoe rolled over, both guns went flying, both guy are in the water searching for there guns, the canoe is upside down, me and the other guy were laughing so hard I thought we would pass out.
we eventually made out way over to them, they were standing in about 5' of water, with their guns over their heads. One of them looks at us and says "what ya think boys, keep hunting, or go get breakfast"
It was about 35° out, so we went and go breakfast
Saltwater60
20×102mm Vulcan
Not funny but I was 16-17 and heading back into the woods for an after lunch hunt with my dad. A deer was running through pines and I couldn’t see if it was a buck or a doe and I lacked a doe tag so I didn’t shoot. Deer went to the other side of the pines and we heard boom, boom, boom, seven shots rang out. My dad screamed to me get the fuck down and get behind a tree. I hit the dirt and was a bit confused so I asked if he wanted me to fire a few back. He said no just stay down. Apparently he heard the rounds wizzing by his head, but I didn’t. The guy up the hill was eating lunch and the deer walked in his backyard and it ended up being a nice 10-pointer from the rumors.
I stopped hunting for years because of that and just started back up 3-4 years ago. No one has shot at me since.
I stopped hunting for years because of that and just started back up 3-4 years ago. No one has shot at me since.
Bustedknees
12-gauge slug (smooth bore)
MIA
OwnTheRide
6.5 Creedmoor
Funny hunting stories? Oh my, so many. I'll start with one of my favorites.
My hunting partner bagged a turkey. We took it back to my truck and put it in the back seat with the dog. Drove around for an hour or so, scouting the area for more birds. Stopped by town, had a couple of drinks at the bar. Went back out scouting for another hour or so.
Suddenly, I hear a bunch of commotion in the back seat. Figure the dog is getting a little goofy with the bird, tell her to simmer down. I hear TINK TINK TINK. I look in the rear-view mirror and see a very much alive turkey pecking against my windows!
We pull over, get the dog out, and after a fair bit of wrestling, got the turkey under control and out of the truck. Slit its throat and give it a few min to bleed out. As we're doing so, we see a pickup drive by real slow, then pull into the camp just a hundred feed down the road. I look up at the trees and see heavily posted woods. Oh, shit... it sure as hell looks like we've just been trespassing, and there is no way anyone is going to believe what really happened...
Luckily, nothing came of it.
Epilogue:
My hunting partner bagged a turkey. We took it back to my truck and put it in the back seat with the dog. Drove around for an hour or so, scouting the area for more birds. Stopped by town, had a couple of drinks at the bar. Went back out scouting for another hour or so.
Suddenly, I hear a bunch of commotion in the back seat. Figure the dog is getting a little goofy with the bird, tell her to simmer down. I hear TINK TINK TINK. I look in the rear-view mirror and see a very much alive turkey pecking against my windows!
We pull over, get the dog out, and after a fair bit of wrestling, got the turkey under control and out of the truck. Slit its throat and give it a few min to bleed out. As we're doing so, we see a pickup drive by real slow, then pull into the camp just a hundred feed down the road. I look up at the trees and see heavily posted woods. Oh, shit... it sure as hell looks like we've just been trespassing, and there is no way anyone is going to believe what really happened...
Luckily, nothing came of it.
Epilogue:
- Later on, I had to marvel at my luck that I had an SUV, and not a pickup. If we'd had a pickup, that bird would have been in the bed, and gone. And, amusingly, some hunter might have killed it and discovered that it was already tagged... lol
- My grandfather heard about this and sent me a stethoscope "to add to your hunting gear"
OwnTheRide
6.5 Creedmoor
Not so much funny, but a good story nonetheless.
2014 deer season, opening day. I'd been out in the woods all morning and hadn't seen much. Headed back to camp to warm up and get some breakfast. As I'm pulling up, I see one of the guys with a bunch of... are those puppies?... all around his feet.
"Why in the hell would he bring a bunch of puppies to camp?" I thought.
I pulled in and he told me the story. He was walking towards his tree stand when he saw what he thought was a coat a little off the path. "This isn't good," he thought - it had been 14 degrees F that night, not a good time to be without a coat. As he got closer to the coat, he noticed it moving a bit. It wasn't a coat, it was a pile of five puppies trying to stay warm! He kneeled down and started rubbing them to try and warm them up, stuffed the two that seemed to be the coldest into his coat, and started trying to coax the other three to follow him back to camp, carrying them as needed.
Needless to say, he wasn't going to be shooting any deer that morning.
We found homes for all five puppies in 24 hours. The guy holding the tan puppy took that one home. I picked one of the black puppies, she ended up being the best dog I've ever had, hands down... and I have had a lot of really good dogs. She even has her own YouTube channel, heh.
I had her DNA tested. The mix was almost exactly what I predicted, though the last part was a surprise:
40-60% Lab
26-39% German Shepherd
10-25% Australian Cattle Dog
10-25% Brittany
We're pretty certain we know where the dogs came from - it's a small area. What a piece of scum, abandoning 5 beautiful puppies out in the woods to freeze to death or get eaten by coyotes. At the same time, I'm glad he did - my life would not be the same without the amazing dog I got out of the deal.
2014 deer season, opening day. I'd been out in the woods all morning and hadn't seen much. Headed back to camp to warm up and get some breakfast. As I'm pulling up, I see one of the guys with a bunch of... are those puppies?... all around his feet.
"Why in the hell would he bring a bunch of puppies to camp?" I thought.
I pulled in and he told me the story. He was walking towards his tree stand when he saw what he thought was a coat a little off the path. "This isn't good," he thought - it had been 14 degrees F that night, not a good time to be without a coat. As he got closer to the coat, he noticed it moving a bit. It wasn't a coat, it was a pile of five puppies trying to stay warm! He kneeled down and started rubbing them to try and warm them up, stuffed the two that seemed to be the coldest into his coat, and started trying to coax the other three to follow him back to camp, carrying them as needed.
Needless to say, he wasn't going to be shooting any deer that morning.
We found homes for all five puppies in 24 hours. The guy holding the tan puppy took that one home. I picked one of the black puppies, she ended up being the best dog I've ever had, hands down... and I have had a lot of really good dogs. She even has her own YouTube channel, heh.
I had her DNA tested. The mix was almost exactly what I predicted, though the last part was a surprise:
40-60% Lab
26-39% German Shepherd
10-25% Australian Cattle Dog
10-25% Brittany
We're pretty certain we know where the dogs came from - it's a small area. What a piece of scum, abandoning 5 beautiful puppies out in the woods to freeze to death or get eaten by coyotes. At the same time, I'm glad he did - my life would not be the same without the amazing dog I got out of the deal.
Saltwater60
20×102mm Vulcan
My springer spaniel found two baby woodchucks once. The mom got hit by a car and it was a cold rainy day. They were sitting outside of the hole wet and shivering. I brought them home and got them warm and dry. I released them a short time after.
OwnTheRide
6.5 Creedmoor
My wife had a female family weekend at our house once (I was away hunting, thank god). My 1yo (at the time) lab was resting her head on my wife's lap. The dog burped up a complete rabbit into her lap in front of her mom, sister, aunts, cousins...
stokes
.338 Win Mag
Back in the early 70's one of the guys at work talked another who had never been hunting into going with him. At that time the bear season opened later than the start of deer season.It was the day before bear season opened and Jerry, the novice shoots a bear just before dark. They decide to put it in the car, a brand new Caddy, and gut it tomorrow morning when its in season.So they head back to the hotel with the bear in the back seat covered with a tarp. As they are driving Curtis hears Jerry let out a big belch. That aint me Jerry says. Uh oh, the bear aint dead! They pull over and jump out as the bear tears the interior to shreds before he go out and ran off.Needless to say Jerry never went hunting again.
1075tech
.338 Win Mag
Had a guy here somewhat local that got a nice doe earlier in the season this year (Bow started 9/10). Arrow is through and through. Doe goes down. Then a bobcat comes out of a tree and starts to attack the wounded deer. Drives it another 400 yards.
GTN
.308 Win
My friend and hunting partner shot at a doe right over my shoulder. He never saw me. I’ve never hunted since